Sudden Death OT

Finally, a holiday that wasn’t ruined by the weight of SK and his own brand of crazy.  I can’t say if it was more in the change of venue or systemic changes in our family unit.  I don’t give a fuck why, I am, however, very content today.

SK is way out there in la la crazy town and the concept of ‘go the fuck away and die, alone, under a cold rock’ hasn’t yet been fostered in his standard run of drug induced psychosis.  I don’t have credentials to make a clinical dx but historically speaking… when god is telling you to do things, when you need to drive fast in your new $130 car that is invincible (while living in a half-way house for the homeless), all the while sending messages to the prez (who isn’t doing as SK thinks would be prudent) cause mommy need her exorcism.

It doesn’t seem all that stable or sane now does it.

Nope, I didn’t think so either.

As classically manipulative as SK has proven himself to be, he did try to weave his crazy back in, *again*.  Dude, you’re more bat shit crazy than mom!

His messages to the kids come in spurts, he walks right up the line of ICC before he makes himself look like the unhinged drug addict he is.

Sending messages that I should be inpatient, to call crisis intervention and get me help…How does SK draw such a conclusion?  Well, it seems that having 6 psych evals and *another* involuntary commitment makes him the authority on the stability of those of us who function in society.

Who knew! Why announcing that equates to a positive is fucking funny shit.

Of course his messages were not just about me, after all, he checks off many cluster B boxes and is a living definition of a pathological narcissism.  If he tells his highly spun version, perhaps my children will jump ship.  Poor poor sk ☹

How could they not come visit him in the hospital?  He lost “70k”, he had his “head fractured, 6 broken ribs and a punctured lung”.  How could they do this to him, so very sad isn’t it…

Just because the *whole* story isn’t told, doesn’t mean it ceases to exist or hold relevancy to the big picture.

It isn’t that none of us at home don’t care, it’s because we cared so deeply and so profoundly, chasing a ghost.  It is because we lived being collateral damage for too long.

It only would have taken an apology and commitment to sobriety and a real, valid and intrinsic desire not to want to live life that would feed unhealthy vs. healthy.

Just because I picked healthy, doesn’t mean I don’t care.  It just means I care about me being as healthy as I can.

This is the ‘man’ whose last name I have like a scarlet letter.  This is the ‘man’ who takes zero responsibility for not being able to see his child, who can’t afford a lawyer to at least get supervised visits.

He blames the mom.  Not that he dumped money, bought (buying?) a $130,000 car so he can impress his hookers (so sorry, escorts) that he’s actually someone…

I could, in theory give enough fucks to have his crazy ass committed and attempt to mitigate his damage to self. flyers

Or…I could take my kids to philly, stay at a nice hotel downtown, go to a flyers game and live my life.  Each day, I take more and more of who I am without the biggest of my mistakes following me around like a haunted shadow.

I don’t care enough to hate anymore.

Happy Chocolate Bunny Day


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