My childhood is that of a child of an alcoholic, it wasn’t pretty and my memories don’t bring out my jump for joy side. They are dark and now that I am a mother myself, they are memories I never wanted my children to have.
They don’t. Parenting was on the ‘learn as you go plan’ and try not to raise fucked up human beings.
I did ok. Giving them a childhood is one of my most proud accomplishments in life. I did my parenting job with fierce confidence I was doing the right shit.
I’m as defiant as they come, mouthy, crude and at times overly opinionated. My life has been an endless determination to prove to those that said I would end up just like mommy dearest – go fuck yourself.
I am nothing like her. I parented nothing like she did.
My babies are not little anymore, they are on the cusp of adulthood and I really am proud of the humans they have become. They themselves hold their own fierce independence, passions… they love and hate each other as I assume “normal” siblings would. I am guessing at that one though 😉
I raised good people and I started out with nothing but this little human in my arms that felt as perfect as anything could.
At times they were rotten little beings – rock on kids. I bucked the status quo when it came to raising the spawn. I guess in some ways, it did show a deep lack of overall trust that I didn’t have in anything.
Sigh… I followed my instinct. Now a grown woman in my 40’s with a house full of teens and knowing more of my own self. I bet 3 lives on my instincts… Which could have turned out poorly. Lucky them I have good instincts. Just sayin.
I wanted them to play and for their childhood space to foster that play. As a young mother I found my place for them in a small town that had the school I wanted them to go to. Waldorf Education aligned with most of my instinctual parenting of their early childhood days.
Now they are public school kids and doing well by those national educational standards we’ve all grown to fucking…..hate…err.. LOVE. But the fucking shit they pass off as “food” in school, I can’t die on that hill today but really, that shit is nasty.
I was one of those “crunchy” moms, I home birthed, nursed them all, did the taboo co-sleeping, I wore my babies in a sling…organic, homeopathic fan gal I am.
The toys of their early child were magical and beautiful and I have the honor of being a small piece of bringing those types of toys to the next generation of moms coming out of the gate with babies in tow.
I must say, these waldorf inspired toys are beautiful… www.thicketandgrove.com